Topic: ‘Random Thoughts’

A Question of Etiquette

Forget which spoon to pick up – I have some serious questions I need answered:

  1. How often can I get together with my son’s girlfriend’s parents without it being weird?
  2. Is “bless your heart” still an insult if they hug you while they say it?
  3. If my son’s friend says “you’re still hot enough to wear a bikini,” should I throw it away or wear it proudly when he’s not around?

Mark and I had Paige’s parents over one night a few weeks ago and realy enjoyed them. We wanted to ask them to join us out for dinner the next weekend, but thought that would be weird. Now I just found out her mom loves Massaman Curry Chicken and wants to learn to make it. Me too! Maybe we can sneak in a get-together during the day while the kids are at school?

Society Cheers for Success but Hates When it Comes

I had an epiphany. I realized how difficult it is to show the real “me” on this blog. I’ve spent so many years being careful not to say or do something that will be used against me or my husband, that I hesitate to share anything personal now. I’m continually afraid some comment I make will be misunderstood as meaning something it doesn’t, or some photo I post will be portrayed as unfitting for the wife of someone in my husband’s position. These things have happened in the past and they have left permanent marks. Even a simple mention of my desire to slim down or dress up solicits an email attack by some stranger who accuses me of being superficial simply because I’m married to a successful man.

I visited one of my favorite blogs the other day, Classy Chaos. Pauline had blogged about a topic that hit close to home, admitting that she takes pride in how she looks in public, and others should too. I posted a comment because I know several of the other women who frequent the blog, and they don’t judge me by the size of my house or the success of my husband. I could be honest. On most blogs, I wouldn’t dare admit I enjoyed looking good because I would be verbally attacked and accused of being a superficial trophy wife who had nothing but good looks to offer. Why is that? Why does society cheer for the Susan Boyles of the world, and then harshly criticize them when they become successful?

It’s frustrating to hear politicians and media attack those who have invested money, time, and energy into success. The idea that “those rich folks” should share the wealth is nothing short of unfair. Everyone has a different definition of what rich is, but if they mean someone like us who has gone a quarter of a million dollars in debt to pay for education, who has invested twelve years of additional education in order to serve the public, and who generously supports community needs… then yes, I guess we would fall into that category. I’m all for sharing the wealth as long as someone pays off the debt we incurred, gives my husband those 12 years of college back, pays the six-digit malpractice insurance to cover unmerited lawsuits, and says thank you. Is it asking too much to want others to get to know me without judging me?

Another kitchen tour? Wait. Let me get my apron.

Am I the only one who is insulted by companies and organizations assuming wives are only interested in attending cooking classes or kitchen tours while husbands are attending some professional gathering? Don’t get me wrong. I appreciate that they are providing an alternative to spending the day in a hotel room, but couldn’t they consider that wives might want something a little more challenging once in a while?

One of my google alerts brought up a site that was offering spouses a chef’s demonstration on how to prepare pork. I was insulted all over again. Then I clicked a few more times to see what AASV stood for – American Association of Swine Veterinarians. Okay. That one made sense… a lot of sense, actually.

I must admit, I enjoy the occasional kitchen skills class, and I still make the tiramisu I learned how to make at an ACPE convention. I just think some educational classes on philanthropy, fundraising, speaking, or social media would be equally as appealing. Maybe even a wingspouse class or two (hint, hint)? Don’t they realize how insulting they appear sometimes?

Creative Connoisseur or Culinary Crockpot

I was cooking up a storm last week, after my sister-in-law gave me a copy of January’s Semi-Homemade magazine. Everything looked so good, and the real thing wasn’t far off from the pictures. We loved the fruit-topped salmon, roasted chicken and vegetables, and apple-accented pork loin. Then I ran out of recipes. I really wanted to keep making new meals, so I reached into my cupboard and pulled out some old copies of Food & Wine I had never made the time to peruse. Three issues later, I hadn’t found a single recipe that sounded good. Many of them had pickled this or imported that. Some of the recipes were downright weird. Who would want to eat Pickle-Brined Chicken or Olive Oil Bundt Cake? And what the heck is a Feta-filled Arepa? The pictures on the covers were nowhere to be found inside the pages. (more…)

The Truth Hanging by a Thread

I frequently take dinner to my son who works at the mall. It’s hard for him to grab something without being late to work. Well, this week I was heading toward the mall exit when I passed one of those booths displaying colorful henna tattoos and brow shaping photos. I had previously watched an Indian woman rolling some kind of hread over another women’s faces, but I didn’t want to stare. This day, however, the booth was unmanned and I could look more closely at the pictures and signs. I wanted to know if the signs were claiming that this thread technique would iron out wrinkles, or what? I stopped to look. (more…)

Rest In Peace, Edgar Allan Poe

raven-in-moonlightI have loved to write since I was very young. Even in grade school, I enjoyed writing stories that left people thinking the unbelievable was a bit more believable. Through words, I was sharing my own fascination of the unknown and challenging others to look outside of the familiar.  I admired Edgar Allan Poe in that way.

Even Poe’s death was a mystery.  On October 7, 1849, he was found roaming the streets of Baltimore, incoherent and delirious.  He was never able to explain how he ended up that way. He died without an explanation. Some suggest his own dark tales came back to haunt him. Others say they were in his head all along and that his inner struggle cost him his life. We will never know, but he was buried behind a small church. (more…)

Count your Blessings and Share Them

I received a really touching tweet today, thanking me for “being a blessing” in someone’s life. I have no idea what I did to deserve the thank-you, but I’m lucky to know that I made a difference. I think most people hope they impact others in a memorable way – but rarely do they know for sure. I just got lucky. (more…)

The Blind Side Seen from Both Sides of Track

My son asked me on a date. That may seem like a silly thing to get all excited about if you don’t have teenage boys, but it IS a big deal. Adam will be leaving for college next spring and this “leaving the nest” process is a painful one packed with constant conflict. So when he asked me to go see The Blind Side with him, I was touched.

I usually detest going to the movies. I can’t sit still that long, and I’m terrible at recognizing faces so I frequently get lost in who’s doing what. This movie (based on a true story) was easy to follow, though. It was inspiring, too. Watching Michael Oher (played by Quinton Aaron) explore all the possibilities put before him despite his current situation, was moving. For the first time, I enjoyed watching football. I’ll bet this movie inspires a lot of disadvantaged children to find their best attribute and work hard to make something of it. Michael certainly did. At the end of the movie, a clip of the real Michael Oher was shown… now I may have to start cheering for the Ravens now.

Michael was inspiring, but his mother, Leigh Anne (played by Sandra Bullock), deserves a mention too. I don’t know if the real Leigh Anne was so persistent, but I liked her character! Leigh saw what needed to be done and got down to business. Her school and community involvement came in handy, too. Wonder if she would consider herself a wingspouse??? The movie started bringing back memories… and a few regrets.

Years ago when Mark and I were just starting out, we signed up for a program to take in unwed pregnant women. We were never assigned anyone (probably because we had little ones at home). A couple of years later, we entertained taking in a homeless family to get them on their feet, but were talked out of it by an IHN volunteer. I wonder how different that family would have been. One more missed opportunity…

Do you think it’s crazy to invite an unfamiliar person into your home when you have children at home? How does a person weigh their own childrens’ safety against a stranger’s need? This is always a struggle for me. Can the eyes tell who’s hiding behind them? When I think about my own son considering taking in a stranger, the mother in me knows I would not be so supportive. Is this just a problem that repeats itself?

P.S. There is a great interview with the real Leigh Anne. Check it out.

New Year New You

Do you make New Year’s resolutions each year? Do you stick to your resolution, or give up after a short time? Each year during the first few weeks of January, tons of new people show up at the gym with stylish workout clothes and new shoes. The regulars have to change their routine to accommodate the lack of machines, but they don’t usually complain. They know that most of the new people will disappear by March… and they do. The “temps” haven’t made health a priority and may not be motivated by much more than a pant size.

Where do you fall in this picture? Do you make physical health a priority? Do you make it easy for you spouse to stay fit? Physical and mental health go hand in hand, espsecially if you live an executive lifestyle. Dinner parties and other social functions provide a constant temptation to eat the wrong foods, have a second or third drink, and promise to make it up later. Physical exercise is key in not only burns calories, but relieving stress. Eating the right foods provides energy for clear thought.

Take a look at your eating habits. Are you eating whole grains? Do you consciously prepare healthy meals or just eat whatever tastes good? Is your family eating different colors of fruits and vegables? What you eat really does make a difference in how you feel. Try putting out a bowl of fresh fruit that is washed and ready to bite into when a quick snack is needed. Don’t be afraid to microwave some fresh vegatables last minute-it’s a great way to cook them quickly and keep their beautiful color (if you don’t overcook them). Make some cookies with oatmeal or whole wheat flour, and avoid using prepared foods and mixes from the grocery store. If you want to make something chocolate, look for recipes that use cocoa powder, rather than baking squares or chips. These are all simple ways to improve your health with very little effort.

Did you know that regular exercise keeps your body looking and feeling younger? Make exercise a priority for everyone. Take time every day to do something, even if it’s just a few crunches in front of the tv. Evening walks can be a family affair that even the dog will enjoy. Encourage your children to participate in a sport and be supportive when your spouse sets time aside to work out. Exercise shouldn’t be a “vanity thing” but rather a part of your plan for the future. You may be busy, but not staying healthy may land you in bed where you won’t get anything done. Fifty is the new thirty. Don’t be afraid to act like it.

Here’s the biggest challenge.. break that nasty habit! If you’re a smoker, go to your doctor and find out what options you have. There are choices ranging from patches to antidepresents that work for many people. Do you drink more often than you should? Try counting your drinks to see just how much you really drink and consider cutting it out entirely if you have a problem. Maybe your bad habit is road rage, or some other response that shoots your blood pressure to an unhealthy level. Whatever it is, get rid of it. You’ll be better for it.

The new year is fast approaching. What is your plan for the future? There’s no time like the present to refocus your attention on good health and start working toward a healther tomorrow.

Filling a Tall Order

It’s hard to call some place home when you haven’t been there long enough to share a history with someone. I envy folks who can point to someone and say, “I grew up with them.” I moved every 3-5 years even growing up, so I don’t have a history with many people. There have been a few special historical moments, though, even if they might seem silly to other people.

Several years ago, our family moved to a wonderful town in Kentucky. We selected a home in a friendly neighborhood with lots of children and I became the carpool queen. Most of the time, I was driving other kids around so those few times when someone helped me out were really nice. A family down our street came to my rescue a few times, taking my oldest son home after track. They had a son, John, who was the nicest young man. I got to know John, and felt especially attached to him because he was unusually tall and lanky… like my youngest was predicted to be. I cheered him on as he broke the high jump record, and was really proud when I heard he was being recruited by colleges to play basketball.

The time came, however, for our family to move once again. We packed up our belongings and moved to Tennessee. My boys made new friends quickly, and soon our house was full of new bodies. One time, several of the boys were discussing sports. I heard John’s name mentioned and asked how they knew him. “John Hood is being recruited by UT!” one of them answered with an implied “duh” after the period. These boys thought he was supernatural. “He’s really a nice kid,” I said, “and he’s not only good at basketball.” That started a whole flurry of questions about John that my sons responded to. Wow… we enjoyed a moment of “history” just then and it was great.

Now nearly two years later, John is playing for Kentucky and for the first time I voluntarily watched a basketball game. I had no idea what the score was, but John looked good as ever. He’ll never know what a joy he brings me as I feel a sense of connection to him and that little town of Madisonville.