Dan Rockwell is a great blogger for leadership tips and he recently started a series of posts he refers to as the ABCs of leadership. His posts were insightful and as I read them I realized similar advice would apply to us — the wingspouses. We are in a non-traditional leadership role, but a leadership role none the less. I decided it would be fun to provide links to each of his posts, and then apply his advice to the wingspouse role. Read the rest of this entry »
Marriage is a Three Legged Race
by Kathi the wingspouse
When unmarried executive men read my blog posts, they sometimes email me and ask, “how can I find a wingspouse?” What a difficult question to answer. I could give a list of traits, but different traits work with different couples. I could provide a list of places to find educated career-driven women, but not all women of this type want to put the career on hold for a spouse’s career. I decided to ask my husband how he would suggest a man find a wife who is wingspouse material. His answer surprised me. “Marry someone you would hire as a leader,” he replied. Read the rest of this entry »
DIY Classy Travel
by Kathi the wingspouse
Companies often use a travel agent to book flights. I know my husband’s company does. When Mark and I start planning a trip somewhere together he usually says, “I’ll have my secretary take care of the flight arrangements.” It’s nice that he is attempting to save me the inconvenience, but that is not always our best option if I’m paying for my own ticket. Why? Because I use some tricks to find the great flight deals that businesses don’t necessarily know or care about when a travel agent books a trip. Read the rest of this entry »
Dying to Make Your Marriage Work
by Kathi the wingspouse
When Mark and I were talking about marriage, Mark explained that he was investing a lot into his career and I needed to understand up-front that it took first priority. I was young and proud, and quickly agreed with no idea what I was getting into. I, in turn, warned him that he better be able to handle me or I would walk all over him. He laughed and naively sealed the deal, not realizing what a ride he would have! We laugh about this “contract” now because we both know how wrong it was to put those things above our marriage. I did survive medical school, residency, private practice, and a series of masters programs, but only because I was too stubborn to break a promise. Mark learned to say, “you’re right, dear” and selectively pick his battles. Thank goodness we both recognized the hole we were digging for ourselves before it was too late. Read the rest of this entry »
Setting the Bar
by Kathi the wingspouse
Being married to a successful person is really tough on the ego. For years I’ve dreamed of having a second career, doing something I could be good at. Sometimes I imagined owning a cafe that specialized in nibbles to eat. Other times, I dreamed of owning a software company like my mom. I even considered going to law school. Now that I’m actually able to get out there and do something, it’s hard. My spouse has worked his way to great success and that sets the bar really high.
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