Years ago, I had the pleasure to live in a wonderful small city where the people were unbelievably generous and the cultural opportunities were impressive. There was a lot of old money in this town, but it was quietly poured back into the museums, symphony, parks, and biking trails that benefited us all. When I got involved with several fundraising campaigns, I was told to watch what I said because everyone was related to SOMEBODY. It was good advice, and it made me realize how frequently we say things without a thought of the impact it might have. Thoughtless comments have the potential to get back to someone who may become offended, and may also have negative consequences to you or your spouse. Here’s an example.
The other day, I was searching the internet for some information when I stumbled onto a blog talking about the issues of being a corporate wife. She had a misconception that being married to an executive meant having social commitments imposed, a dress code enforced, and mandatory party attendance required. As I read the post, I got the impression she was facing the possibility of living the corporate wife life and I wanted her to know how wonderful it can be. I commented, explaining that a corporate wife doesn’t live a life of servitude. She makes choices. I wrote that choosing to stay home to raise children or supporting a husband in his career was an investment in the future, no different than investing in a career by taking classes or attending company events. Both have benefits and rewards. I suggested she check out my blog, and I clicked SUBMIT.
Later that day, I received the following email:
Are you for real?? You need to step back into the 1950’s where you belong. Your philosophy steps women back so far. Is your spouse such a control freak to you and your children that this is your role in life?? Put on your apron June Cleaver. Or is it wrap yourself nude in cellophane and meet your man at the door. Unbelievable.
I didn’t expect that. Not only had she not approved my comment, but she attacked me for my good intentions. As I stared at the email, I noticed she had signed her full name, and provided a phone number. Oddly, that name looked familiar. The phone number she provided was out of Chicago, but the connection I remembered was from the Cincinnati/Dayton area. The company she worked for was listed below in a legal statement, and it was a company in the medical field. Could it be a coincident?
I was curious now, so I googled her name and the company. A linkedin profile matched, listing Cincinnati as her location. Did she know I was from that area? Did she have any idea my husband had worked in a neighboring hospital? I’m sure the thought never crossed her mind. Not only had she insulted me, but she was a less than desirable spokesperson for her employer.
Have you ever had a “six degrees of separation” experience?
Related Topic:
Managing Your Spouse 101
