I was talking with another wingspouse recently, about the qualities that make up a good wingspouse (an executive wife who helps her spouse advance). We threw out several descriptors but became quite animated when we agreed on the term chameleon. We agreed that much of what we do is adapt to current needs and constantly learn new skills. However, when we tried to define whether our role was more traditional or feminist, we stumbled. We both felt professionally empowered and incredibly successful, but we realized that giving up our own careers for the stay-at-home life normally falls under the traditional wife. If we had not married executives, we clearly would have been climbing the corporate ladder somewhere, but somehow we had both come to the realization that serving as our husband’s partners was the way to have it all. Perhaps our non-traditional feminist approach to being a traditional SAHM was yet another example of our chameleon quality. (more…)