Radical Role Reversal of a Male Wingspouse

There has been a lot of buzz recently about women and the name change struggle. Article after article has examined society’s impression of taking a spouse’s name. I thought it would be timely to share this wingspouse’s story. Meet Mr. S. Mr. S wrote:

When we met, we were working together. She was so smart, driven, and just really great to be around… we spent as much time together as we could, and realized that we had so much in common.  When we got engaged, we realized how different our individual career plans were.  I planned for the next 3-5 years. She had dreams of becoming a (removed) someday.  So, our plans really took shape while we were engaged.

When we got married I took her last name as my own. Radical, I know, but it really made sense. She had already established herself professionally, and I was about to check out of the old job and start off on something new.  So, on our wedding day, I went from being Mr.P to being Mr.S, and the next month I started law school. Within a year, we had our first child.  Mrs.S helped me through finals and then I shifted to night school – it took me 3 more years to graduate, and by then we had two children.

Now she is pursuing her dream.  This has meant that she is doing more speaking and presenting.  She is also going to a lot of functions, and I go when I can. Her next advancement is going to put more pressure on me.  At least in terms of socializing with very prominent people. I have to work on it.

Most of the people in her field are either women who are single or who have husbands in the same field. The men who have stay-at-home wives are much older than us. Their spouses may lead more interesting lives, but I have one thing that most of them don’t – a goal to help my wife fulfill her dream. I believe a lot in visualizing success.  My wife and I were talking lately about her goal to be a (removed). Not long after, we went to dinner  and I made reservations using that title. Her eyes bugged out when we got there and she was addressed as that and she really enjoyed it. I told her that the next time this happened, it would be real.

I am so happy in this marriage.  How many fathers get to raise their kids?  We have a nice home in a nice neighborhood.  Mostly, we have each other.